People’s emotions often get the better of them when they
have to attend a social function alone or confront someone over a
disagreement. They feel anxious, insecure or even strangely
detached.
You can overcome these debilitating feelings by adopting simple
techniques that professional actors use to feel instantly more
relaxed and empowered...
PUBLIC SPEAKING
Secret: Breathing
exercises. Before your talk, use breathing exercises
to relax you and get oxygen to your brain. This will help you think
clearly and find the perfect words.
First, slow down your breathing -- when tense we tend to take
quick, shallow breaths. Instead, inhale deeply for four counts.
Feel your abdomen expand. Hold your breath for two counts. Take
another four counts to exhale, sharply blowing out the air. Repeat
the sequence twice more.
Second, hum. Feel your lips vibrate with the sound,
"Mmmm."
Next make a loud, drawn out "Haaaah!" sound. Feel your chest
vibrate and your confidence build. Notice how both of these
exercises make your voice more resonant and impressive.
YOUR CONVERSATION PARTNER SEEMS BORED
Secret: Dramatic pauses. Pause
for dramatic effect when you speak.
Example: You are telling a story.
You say, "Then I realized what I had to do... " Instead of jumping
right into the next sentence, hesitate for a beat or even two.
Don’t worry that your listener will become impatient or annoyed.
Just the opposite happens. As you pause to collect your thoughts
and choose your words, the listener will literally lean forward in
anticipation. Watch how Al Pacino does this in his Academy
Award-winning role in
Scent of a Woman.
YOUR MIND FEELS SLUGGISH
Secret: Mental stimulation
exercises.
Example: Add together in your head
14,231 and 28,489. It doesn’t matter whether you come up with the
right answer or how fast. The important thing is to get your brain
working.
Another example: Think of all the
words that begin with a certain letter (for instance, "P" --
palatial, pantry, pretty, etc.).
Secret: Yoga. Energize yourself
with these moves...
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Extend your right arm in
front of you at shoulder height and shake your right hand
vigorously as if you were trying to shake your hand off your
wrist.
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Hold your arm straight
out in front of you with your fingers extended as far apart as
possible. Drop your arm to your side. Now do the other arm.
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Stand up with your right
foot off the floor (hold on to something for balance) and try to
shake off your foot. Repeat with your left foot.
MEETING NEW PEOPLE
Secret: Props. Carry any small
object that you connect with emotionally so that it allows or
inspires you to feel more alive and relaxed.
Examples: A handkerchief from
someone you love... your grandfather’s pocket watch.
I knew a woman who went to meetings with a banana in her purse! For
some reason, the fruit allowed her to see a certain ridiculous side
of life, and suddenly her situation didn’t seem so dire.
Secret: "Sense memory." If you
remember something vividly enough, your body will react as if the
person, place or event were really there. Draw on a memory that
makes you feel confident. Use all five senses and specific
details.
Example: When Sir Laurence Olivier
directed Marilyn Monroe in the first scene of the
movie
The Prince and the Showgirl, he wanted her
to enter the room sparkling and full of spunk and wit. However,
none of his directions or demonstrations seemed to help Monroe.
Then, her acting coach told her to imagine that she was drinking
Coca-Cola. Monroe tasted the soda, felt the bubbles. Watch the
movie if you get a chance. Monroe nailed that scene.
CONFRONTATIONS
Secret: Authenticity. Speak the
truth. It always saddens me to see how uncomfortable people get
because they carry unspoken sentences inside their heads, trying to
pretend that everything is fine. It’s exhausting.
Better: Actors are taught to address
their discomfort directly.
Example: The first time I saw the
Golden Globe-nominated actress and singer Andrea Marcovicci, she
was performing on a big stage. Suddenly, she stopped and said to
the audience in a little girl’s voice: "Am I doing OK? I hope I’m
doing OK." It was so authentic and real that she won over the
crowd.
Often, admitting a thought out loud breaks the tension, releases
bad feelings and makes the situation flow more smoothly.
Secret: Silly images. Imagine a
pigeon on the other person’s head. This works well when the other
person intimidates you. By conjuring up such a silly image, you
shift the internal balance of power in your favor. Now, pretend
that the pigeon on your adversary’s head is doing what pigeons
naturally do. Feeling less intimidated?