George Washington’s Rules of Civility and
Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation
(Note: The original spelling and punctuation
was retained)
1. Every Action done in Company, ought to
be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are
Present.
2. When in Company, put not your Hands to any
Part of the Body, not usually Discovered.
3. Show Nothing to your Friend that may
affright him.
4. In the Presence of Others Sing not to
yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or
Feet.
5. If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it
not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your
handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn
aside.
6. Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when
others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not
on when others Stop.
7. Put not off your Cloths in the
presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half
Dressed.
8. At Play and at Fire its Good manners
to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder
than Ordinary.
9. Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low
before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor
Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before
it.
10. When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and
Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing
them.
11. Shift not yourself in the Sight of others
nor Gnaw your nails.
12. Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs roll not
the Eyes lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the
mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too
near him when you Speak.
13. Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks
&c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick
Spittle put your foot Dexterously upon it if it be upon the Cloths
of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your
own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.
14. Turn not your Back to others
especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another
reads or writes, lean not upon any one.
15. Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your
Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Showing any great Concern for
them.
16. Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the
tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them
or keep the Lips too open or too Close.
17. Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that
delights not to be Play’d Withal.
18. Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in
Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must
ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to
read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unasked also
look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.
19. Let your Countenance be pleasant but in
Serious Matters Somewhat grave.
20. The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to
the discourse you are upon.
21. Reproach none for the Infirmities of
Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind
thereof.
22. Show not yourself glad at
the Misfortune of another though he were your
enemy.
23. When you see a Crime punished, you may be
inwardly Pleased; but always show Pity to the Suffering
Offender.
Don’t draw attention to
yourself.
24. Do not laugh too loud or too
much at any Public Spectacle.
25. Superfluous Complements and
all Affectation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they
are not to be Neglected.
26. In Pulling off your Hat to
Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen & make
a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the
Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect
not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off
the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of
Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual
Custom.
27. Tis ill manners to bid one
more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to
whom it’s due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his
hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at
most the Second time of being asked; now what is herein Spoken, of
Qualification in behavior in Saluting, ought also to be observed in
taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is
troublesome.
28. If any one come to Speak to
you while you are are Sitting Stand up though he be your Inferior,
and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his
Degree.
29. When you meet with one of
Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be
at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to
Pass.
30. In walking the highest Place
in most Countries Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place
yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honor: but if three
walk together the middest Place is the most Honorable the wall is
usually given to the most worthy if two walk
together.
31. If any one far Surpasses
others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a
meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought
not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much
earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.
32. To one that is your equal,
or not much inferior you are to give the chief Place in your
Lodging and he to who ‘is offered ought at the first to refuse it
but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his
own unworthiness.
33. They that are in Dignity or in office have
in all places Precedency but whilst they are Young they ought to
respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualities,
though they have no Public charge.
34. It is good Manners to prefer them to whom
we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom
in no Sort we ought to begin.
35. Let your Discourse with Men of Business be
Short and Comprehensive.
36. Artificers & Persons of low Degree
ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree
but Respect and highly Honor them, and those of high Degree ought
to treat them with affability & Courtesy,
without
Arrogance.
37. In speaking to men of
Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach
too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from
them.
38. In visiting the Sick, do
not Presently play the Physician if you be not Knowing
therein.
39. In writing or Speaking,
give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree &
the Custom of the Place.
40. Strive not with your
Superiors in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others
with Modesty.
41.
Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it
Savours of arrogance.
42. Let thy ceremonies in
Courtesy be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou
converses for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a
Prince.
43. Do not express Joy before
one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his
Misery.
44. When a man
does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did
it.
45. Being to advise or
reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in
Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it
& in reproving Show no Sign of Cholar but do it with all
Sweetness and Mildness.
46. Take all Admonitions
thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not
being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him him
know it that gave them.
47. Mock not nor
Jest at any thing of Importance break [n]o Jest that are Sharp
Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasant abstain from
Laughing thereat yourself.
48. Wherein you reprove Another
be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than
Precepts.
49. Use no
Reproachful Language against any one neither Curse nor
Revile.
50. Be not hasty
to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of
any.
51. Wear not
your Cloths, foul, ripped or Dusty but See they be Brushed once
every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any
Uncleaness.
52. In your Apparel be Modest
and endeavor to accommodate Nature, rather than to procure
Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and
orderly with respect to Times and Places.
53. Run not in the Streets,
neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking your Arms
kick not the earth with R feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a
Dancing fashion.
54. Play not the
Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well
Decked, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings sit neatly, and
Cloths handsomely.
55. Eat not in the Streets, nor
in the House, out of Season.
56. Associate yourself with Men
of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ‘is better
to be alone than in bad Company.
57. In walking up and Down in a
House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at
the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be
not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your
face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with
him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner
that he may easily Speak to you.
58. Let your
Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for ‘is a Sign of a
Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion
admit Reason to Govern.
59. Never
express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before
your inferiors.
60. Be not
immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a
Secret.
61. Utter not
base and frivolous things amongst grave and Learned Men nor very
Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard
to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst
your Betters nor Equals.
62. Speak not of
doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of
Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them
Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your
intimate Friend.
63. A Man ought
not to value himself of his Achievements, or rare Qualities of wit;
much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.
64. Break not a
Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all
without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, though there Seem to
be Some cause.
65. Speak not
injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although
they give Occasion.
66. Be not
froward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and
answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to
Converse.
67. Detract not
from others neither be excessive in
Commanding.
68. Go not
thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not.
Give not Advice without being Asked & when desired do it
briefly.
69. If two contend together
take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in
your own Opinion, in Things indifferent be of the Major
Side.
70. Reprehend
not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters
and Superiors.
71. Gaze not on
the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What
you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before
others.
72. Speak not in
an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as
those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat
Seriously.
73. Think before
you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too
hastily but orderly & distinctly.
74. When Another
Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any
hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired,
Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be
ended.
75. In the midst
of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any
Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to
Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s
handsome to Repeat what was said before.
76. While you
are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you
Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to
his face.
77. Treat with
men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of
Others.
78. Make no
Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave
act of Virtue, commend not another for the
Same.
79. Be not apt
to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of
things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover
not.
80. Be not
Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company
pleased therewith.
81. Be not
Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that
Speak in Private.
82. Undertake
not what you cannot Perform but be Careful to keep your
Promise.
83. When you
deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion,
however mean the Person be you do it too.
84. When your
Superiors talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor
Laugh.
85. In Company
of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not til you are
asked a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in
few words.
86. In Disputes,
be not So Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one
to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part
especially if they are Judges of the
Dispute.
87. Let thy
carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to
that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others
Say.
88. Be not
tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often
the Same manner of Discourse.
89. Speak not
Evil of the absent for it is unjust.
90. Being Set at
meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except
there’s a Necessity for it.
91. Make no Show
of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness;
cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find
fault with what you Eat.
92. Take no Salt
or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.
93. Entertaining
any one at the table, it is decent to present him with meat;
Undertake not to help others undesired by the
Master.
94. If you Soak
bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your
Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till
Cools of it Self.
95. Put not your
meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth
the Stones of any fruit Pie upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the
table.
96. It’s
unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean &
when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table
Napkin.
97. Put not
another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not
your morsels be too big for the jowls.
98. Drink not
nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are
drinking.
99. Drink not
too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking, wipe
your lips; breath not then or ever with too great a noise, for its
uncivil.
100. Cleanse not
your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or knife; but if
others do it, let it be done without a peep to
them.
101. Rinse not
your mouth in the presence of others.
102. It is out of use to call
upon the company often to eat; nor need you drink to others every
time you drink.
103. In the company of your
betters, be not longer in eating than they are; lay not your arm
but only your hand upon the table.
104. It belongs to the chiefest
in company to unfold his napkin and fall to meat first, but he
ought then to begin in time & to dispatch with dexterity that
the slowest may have time allowed him.
105. Be not
angry at the table whatever happens & if you have reason to be
so, show it not; put on a cheerful countenance especially if there
be strangers, for good humor makes one dish of meat a
feast.
106. Set not yourself at the
upper of the table; but if it be your due or that the master of the
house will have it so, contend not, least you should trouble the
company.
107. If others talk at the
table, be attentive but talk not with meat in your
mouth.
108. When you speak of God or
his attributes, let it be seriously & with reverence. Honor
& obey your natural parents although they be
poor.
109. Let your recreations be
manful not sinful.
110. Labor to keep alive in
your breast that little spark of celestial fire called
conscience.