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This textbook contains material on
evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the
origin of living things. This material should be approached
with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically
considered. |
This textbook asserts that
gravity exists. Gravity is a force that cannot be directly seen.
This material should be approached with an open mind, studied
carefully, and critically considered. |
This book discusses
heliocentrism, the theory that the Earth orbits around a centrally
located sun. Students should be encouraged to fully consider the
evidence for, and the evidence against, this
interesting idea. |
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This
textbook suggests that the Earth is spherical. Because a few
delusional wackos still think the Earth is flat, while others
insist it is oblate spheroid, teachers are urged to skip over this
controversial topic in lesson plans. |
This
textbook states that the Earth is over 4 billion years old. Because
this fact conflicts rather directly with a hugely popular fictional
account, both sides of the argument should be taught to
impressionable children. |
This book
promotes the theory of plate tectonics, the gradual movement of the
major land masses. Because nobody actually witnessed the land
masses moving, teachers should refer to the theory as
unprovable. |
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This textbook contains a
chapter about general relativity, a theory that very few scientists
actually understand. And because Einstein was an atheist, it must
certainly be incorrect. |
This textbook suggests that the
origin of life was a natural event. Because this view undermines
the whole point of most religions, readers are encouraged to burn
this book along with the author. |
This book discusses God. The
existence of entities with supernatural powers is controversial,
and many believe that Gods, especially other people's
Gods, are fictional. |
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This book explains the
difference between a fact and a myth. If you feel this insight
would in any way undermine your belief in magic, please close it
immediately. |
This book claims that fossil
evidence strongly supports evolution. An alternative view embraced
by "local folks" is that these fossils were planted by Satan to
fool scientists into abandoning Divine Creation. |
This book claims an Intelligent
Designer (the man formerly known as God) carefully crafted all life
on earth. Please turn your head away from the book when you spew
coffee through your nose. |
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This
textbook claims that evolution is not fully accepted by scientists
because it is just a theory. The author hopes to confuse you into
equating scientific theory with cockamamie
theory. |
This text confines the topic of
evolution into a small, discrete chapter at the end of the book.
The author missed the memo that evolution is the unifying principle
in biology. This book is therefore, "lame". |
This book was anonymously
donated to your school library to discreetly promote magical,
religious alternatives to the theory of evolution. Please reshelve
it in the fiction section. |
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This book contains an evolution
disclaimer sticker mandated by your local school board. For fun,
submit an article that analyzes the impact of weakened science
instruction on students' SAT scores. |
This catalog features several
dozen new cultivars of flowers, living evidence that species can
change over time. Creationists should never, ever order
anything from this company. |
This book
discusses evolution. President George W. Bush said, "On the
issue of evolution, the verdict is still out on how God created the
Earth." Therefore, until 2009 this material shood be aproched
with an open mind, studeed carefuly, and critcly
consid'rd. |